HOW TO BE HAPPY

By Liz C

Happiness is an emotion like sadness, bitterness, or anger. Therefore it is not something that you can will into action. It is not a goal you can achieve.

Happiness is directly linked to what you do and what happens to you.

The desire to be happy has to be worked out by giving thought to what is making you

unhappy. What is making you uncomfortable? If you are in a relationship, which is making you miserable, then you either have to change it or leave it.

You have the freedom to choose how you view things. Your state of mind, can be the great leveller, if you are going to wallow then ultimately you will sink. If you start to view things as a challenge that you will conquer and grow from then you have a chance to rise above the circumstances that you find yourself in.

Be changeable. Realise that there is no right and wrong to your emotions, `what is normal?’ is not just a catch phrase. It is really up to you. Self destructive or anti-social behaviour is unacceptable, but realising that you are only human can be a tremendous release.

Learn to love and accept yourself. You are of value. If you believe in God? grow to

understand that you are beloved and the apple of His eye. If you do not believe in God, grow to appreciate that you are one of a kind, unique. There is no one like you and there never will be. You must learn to value yourself.

Learn to accept compliments, by just saying `thank you’ Realise that you are worthy and don’t judge yourself more harshly than you would anyone else. Silence the inner critic and be kind to yourself.

Unlearn the guilt process. So often we have had guilt ladled over us by the bucket full, and the praise is severely lacking. You are not perfect, and to try is pointless, but each one of us has value. Go to bed every night with a feeling that you have done your best for that day, and if you have not achieved all that you set out to, acknowledge that there is tomorrow to try again.

Always try to give thanks for the simple things in life. Acknowledge that in so many ways you should be grateful. If you can see a flower, be blessed by the sight. If you can smell a flower be blessed by that joy. If you have a warm bed at night while it is cold outside then appreciate it. Receiving a hug from someone, who has made the effort to comfort you means that you are worth it. Be glad about that simple thing.

Finding a balance in your life can sometimes be a minefield. We are sometimes expected to be superhuman. We are not! Sometimes we have to devote more time to work; sometimes we need to devote time to family. Realise that we need to have me time too!

Stop worrying that people are watching you, or that people think you are stupid. Yes it is easier said than done! Realise that other people are just as self-conscious as you are. Feeling just as vulnerable, and are probably so wrapped up in what they are doing, and trying not to appear stupid, they are not even thinking about you at all!